I spoke to Jacob for the first time on June 11th. I was thrilled to hear the enthusiasim in his voice as he told me about being chosen as one of the Element Leaders for his flight. He has approximetly 20 airmen under his leadership. Jacob's leadership skills are being tested and so far, his unit is succeeding bybreaking KP (kitchen patrol) records all while being pushed to their absolute limit! On top of this, he has 2 women TI's (training instructors) and has been told that they are the hardest TI's at Lackland AFB. He is scheduled to graduate on July 16th and 17th however being the Element Leader could have it's drawbacks, if an airman in Jacob's unit does not graduate, he will not graduate!
Now here is the big news...Jacob and Crystal went to the courthouse on April 3rd and got married! And no, I didn't know anything about this until that long awaited for phone call from my son on June 11th, 2.5 months after this blessed event.
Upset? No! Disappointed? YES Very much so!
I went online and discovered that her mother was the witness to the blessed event...
Disappointed?Doesn't even come close! Upset? Oh no...madder than H_ll...
So I offer this advice to you...
give your children all the love they deserve,
respect their desicions/wishes,
teach them respect for others,
teach them respect for self,
give them faith in tomorrow,
and love them unconditionally!
most importantly...
know that even when you have given them all of this,
they will still break your heart!
For 2.5 months I have been decieved and it is the most awful feeling to know that as a parent there are some things that you can't fix for your children... I hope this isn't one of those "I told you so" times!
The hardest part of this is knowing that I missed out on my first borns marriage...even if it was a courthouse, with no family members present to witness and bless their future. All that is gone, in the blink of an eye...no memories captured, no fabulous story to share with your children.
They are planning on a ceremony in October...and I guess that is still the case but who knows, maybe that is a lie too!
And to answer the question on everybody's mind....I don't know if she is pregnant...I haven't asked!
3 comments:
gosh steph i am SOO SORRY!!! i don't even know what to say. i can't even begin to know how painful it was to hear!
again.... i don't even know what to say! (other than we totally understand you not being ready to share!) i am thinking of you and can't wait to see you soon!!
So sorry Steph, if you need to talk you know I am here for ya, if not I understand that too. Just know I love ya and I am sorry you are in this pain.
I honestly don't know how I want to say this, but you know me, so I am going to tell you like it is. I feel for you in that you were not there to experience Jacob's milestone. BUT....maybe try to think of it from his perspective.
I have a younger (much younger) cousin, and her husband was in the Navy. Before he left for boot camp, they got married (and in her case, she was pregnant). BUT...Katie's husband wanted her with him.
SO, maybe in Jake's case, he knew he was leaving for boot camp. And, you already knew he had talked about marriage to Crystal. The paperwork involved to have your spouse with you once you past boot camp DOES take some time. So, in order to speed things up, they went down to the courthouse. Also, what would happen once he graduated? How soon would he be shipped out and where would he be stationed? Maybe these were some of the things that he and Crystal talked about. AND, maybe they really wanted to be together after that. AND, once he got stationed, they are normally shipped out within a few months. So, again, what would happen if he was shipped out overseas (I know you don't want to hear that)? BUT, maybe he wanted to make sure that no matter what happened, Crystal would be taken care of.
I'm sorry you couldn't be there to see the blessed event, but maybe it was low key for a reason. They are still planning a ceremony in October with all the "pomp and circumstance" of a real wedding. Nothing really says you had to be there for the original exchanging of the vows.
I guess I say this, because I, too, went to the courthouse and got married. My witnesses were a friend and my brother-in-law. My parents knew we were going to do it, but due to family circumstances, it was just much better NOT to have a wedding. Plus, I really never dreamed about having a big wedding. Imagine the stress!! And, honestly, I have NEVER had any regrets on the way Scott and I handled it. I really was much happier doing it that way. Simple and basic...
So, cheer up! You will still get to participate in the wedding ceremony....just at a later date. And, really, did expect any different from Jacob? You had an inkling that this might happen, and you really seem to know him well.
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